Is this workshop for us?
Great question. When you’re taking an intentional step to grow or heal your relationship, you want a good outcome. Hold Met Tight® / Created for Connection® retreats are informed by Emotionally Focused - the gold standard in couples therapy. EFT is associated with very good outcomes. That said, our retreats are not considered therapeutic interventions and there are some circumstances that may indicate that a retreat with us should wait. Please know that these concerns exist on a spectrum of severity and don’t necessarily indicate that a Hold Me Tight/Created for Connection retreat is not for you. Some discernment together with a retreat facilitator would be helpful if the following are concerns in your relationship:
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1. Affairs
EFT retreats are not recommended for couples where there is an active, ongoing affair, particularly if one partner is unwilling to end the affair. Repairing one attachment relationship becomes nearly impossible when there is a competing attachment relationship. While significant healing is possible after an affair if both partners are committed to rebuilding their relationship, an undisclosed or ongoing affair makes genuine healing unfeasible. If both parties are ready to repair, our retreats can provide meaningful support in the healing process.
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2. Abuse
Abuse exists on a spectrum, ranging from isolated incidents during moments of heightened conflict to patterns of deliberate, strategic control and domination. If your relationship involves significant emotional, physical, or sexual violence, or if abuse is being used to maintain power and control, our retreats are not appropriate. The workshops are designed to foster vulnerability, which requires a foundation of physical, emotional, and sexual safety. For those experiencing severe abuse, we encourage contacting one of the facilitators for resources and support. If the abuse is less severe or situational, please reach out to a facilitator to discuss whether the retreat may be suitable for your situation.
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3. Differing Agendas
Couples may come to a retreat with differing levels of clarity about their goals. It is completely normal to feel uncertain about what might happen or what you hope to achieve. However, if one partner is determined to end the relationship while the other wants to repair it, the retreat may not be a productive experience. That said, transformative experiences are possible even in difficult circumstances..
4. Addiction
Addiction, whether related to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or pornography, can range from casual use to severe dependency. In some cases, couples can address problematic use and behavior during the retreat. However, if the addiction is severe and requires immediate or primary treatment, it is recommended to address the addiction first before attending Hold Me Tight® or Created for Connection®. If you’re unsure about the severity of the addiction, reach out to one of the presenters for guidance.
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5. Untreated Psychological Disorders
Some untreated (or under-treated) psychological conditions such as PTSD, OCD, major depression, or debilitating anxiety can hinder participation and limit the benefits of a retreat. However, if these conditions are stable and actively being managed with ongoing counseling or psychiatric care, the retreat can be a valuable tool for addressing the dynamic between mental health concerns and your relationship. Please contact us if you have questions about whether your situation is suitable.
If you have any concerns or questions about whether this retreat is the right fit for you, please contact one of the facilitator at jon@flourishvt.com. We are here to help you make the best decision for your unique situation.
